16,374
edits
Embarrassing Others: Difference between revisions
From Halachipedia
→Atoning for Embarrassment
| Line 41: | Line 41: | ||
In order to achieve full repentance for sinning, one must undergo a complex process of asking for forgiveness. The steps of the process include: <ref> Rambam, Hilchot Teshuva Chapter 1</ref> | In order to achieve full repentance for sinning, one must undergo a complex process of asking for forgiveness. The steps of the process include: <ref> Rambam, Hilchot Teshuva Chapter 1</ref> | ||
# First acknowledging, then regretting one’s sin. # Privately confessing the transgression to God. | # First acknowledging, then regretting one’s sin. | ||
# Privately confessing the transgression to God. | |||
# Devoting oneself to not committing a similar transgression in the future. | # Devoting oneself to not committing a similar transgression in the future. | ||
# Make amends with the person you have transgressed against. | # Make amends with the person you have transgressed against. | ||
| Line 57: | Line 58: | ||
# You must try to appease your friend at an opportune time, or until he agrees to listen to you. You must then feel you friend’s pain in your heart and resolve not to embarrass others. Finally, if one embarrasses you in the future, you should not feel upset, rather you should view it as fair. <ref> Sefer Chassidim 54</ref> | # You must try to appease your friend at an opportune time, or until he agrees to listen to you. You must then feel you friend’s pain in your heart and resolve not to embarrass others. Finally, if one embarrasses you in the future, you should not feel upset, rather you should view it as fair. <ref> Sefer Chassidim 54</ref> | ||
# One should give gifts to the person they oppressed as a means of making amends. One should give [[Mishloach Manot]] to the person on [[Purim]], or confront them before [[Yom Kippur]] when they’re more likely to listen. One may also have friends help him lay the groundwork for his apology. <ref> Reuven, Rabbi Nitzan Kitzur Hilchot Smirat HaLashon</ref> | # One should give gifts to the person they oppressed as a means of making amends. One should give [[Mishloach Manot]] to the person on [[Purim]], or confront them before [[Yom Kippur]] when they’re more likely to listen. One may also have friends help him lay the groundwork for his apology. <ref> Reuven, Rabbi Nitzan Kitzur Hilchot Smirat HaLashon</ref> | ||
# “If the humiliation took place in the presence of others, make your apology in their presence, as well as in private. Otherwise the victim has the right to say, “You shamed me in front of others, and now you want to apologize in private. Bring me all the people who heard you embarrass me, and then I will accept your apology.” <ref> Yalkout Shimoni, Hosea 14 </ref> | # “If the humiliation took place in the presence of others, make your apology in their presence, as well as in private. Otherwise the victim has the right to say, “You shamed me in front of others, and now you want to apologize in private. Bring me all the people who heard you embarrass me, and then I will accept your apology.” <ref> Yalkout Shimoni, Hosea 14 </ref> | ||
==Giving up Your Life== | ==Giving up Your Life== | ||
