Naming Children

From Halachipedia

Names should only be a happy topic that elevates us and serves as a connection to the souls of great members of the Jewish people, not a source of strife and cause of Machaloket. There are many laws and customs regarding the names we give our children. Some are meant to maintain peace between the families, while others have the well-being of the child in mind.

Naming After the Living

  1. Generally speaking, Ashkenazim do not name children after living people[1] for fear of shortening the other person's life[2] or to avoid violating a living parent's honor by calling the child the same name as the parent in his presence.[3]
  2. Some say that if there is no reason to pick a particular name, even Ashkenazim are advised to choose the name of one of the Neviim or a recognized Tzaddik and genius of our times, even if he's still alive.[4]
  3. Sepharadim in general have the custom to name children after living relatives, starting with the father’s parents and then the mother’s, unless there are additional factors such as a loss of the mother’s parent, in which case the paternal grandfather’s Mechilah would be needed.[5]
  4. If one is naming after both parents (such as to appease everybody), the name of the paternal father should come first.[6]
  5. Even by Sepharadim this Minhag is not ubiquitous. In Morocco and Iraq, specifically, they would not name after the living, while in Algeria and Tunis, they would. Some say that if the living relative gives permission, it's nevertheless ok in any location.[7]
  6. In the case of a mixed marriage, where the mother of the baby’s family does allow it, but the father's does not, the baby may be named for its mother’s living family members.[8]
  7. If the child is the product of a broken marriage, some recommend not naming the baby for members of either family to avoid aggravation from the opposite side.[9]
  8. Ultimately, every family should follow its custom.[10]

Further Reading

  1. Shalmei Simcha chapter 67
  2. Choosing a Name for a Child by Rabbi Aryeh Lebowitz

Sources

  1. Sefer HaChassidim 460
  2. Yehuda Ya’aleh (vol. 2 Even HaEzer, Choshen Mishpat 106; Yoreh Deah 246)
  3. Sdei Chemed (Chattan veKallah 5), Chelkat Yaakov Yoreh Deah Siman 136, Aseh Lecha Rav 2:57 and 6:69
  4. Iggerot Moshe (Orach Chaim 4:66). See Minchat Elazar vol. 4 Siman 27 and Beis Yitzchok 5747 page 5
  5. Yabia Omer vol. 5 Yoreh De’ah 21, Yalkut Yosef (Sova Semachot vol. 2 10:2)
  6. Ben Ish Chai (Shanah II Shoftim 27), Yalkut Yosef (Sova Semachot vol. 2 10:3)
  7. Netivot HaMaarav pg 139, Nahagu Ha’Am Shonot 7, Ateret Avot vol. 3 pg. 80, HalachaYomit.co.il
  8. Yabia Omer vol. 5 Yoreh De’ah 21, Yalkut Yosef (Sova Semachot vol. 2 10:4), Shalmei Simcha page 458
  9. Chashukei Chemed Gittin 26b
  10. Shaarei Halacha uMinhag vol. 3 Yoreh Deah pg 297