Preparing for the Wedding: Difference between revisions

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Every woman who is getting married must observe Shiva Nekiyim, whether or not she saw any blood, from the time that they began to seriously plan for the wedding. <ref>Gemara Niddah 66a, Shulchan Aruch YD 192:1</ref>
Every woman who is getting married must observe Shiva Nekiyim, whether or not she saw any blood, from the time that they began to seriously plan for the wedding. <ref>Gemara Niddah 66a, Shulchan Aruch YD 192:1</ref>
===When is it relevant===
 
==When Are these Laws Relevant==
# For a woman who had her period prior to getting married, she has to observe her Shiva Nekiyim anyway since she is a Niddah.<ref>Sidrei Tahara 192:3 quoting the Lechem Chamudot explains that if a woman saw her period prior to her wedding she is like a niddah for all laws and there are no leniencies of dam chimud.</ref>  
# For a woman who had her period prior to getting married, she has to observe her Shiva Nekiyim anyway since she is a Niddah.<ref>Sidrei Tahara 192:3 quoting the Lechem Chamudot explains that if a woman saw her period prior to her wedding she is like a niddah for all laws and there are no leniencies of dam chimud.</ref>  
# However, this law even applies to a woman who is menopausal and didn't see any blood since she last went to mikveh, nonetheless she must still observe Shiva Nekiyim and go to mikveh before her wedding.<Ref>Pitchei Teshuva 192:2</ref>  
# However, this law even applies to a woman who is menopausal and didn't see any blood since she last went to mikveh, nonetheless she must still observe Shiva Nekiyim and go to mikveh before her wedding.<Ref>Pitchei Teshuva 192:2</ref>  

Revision as of 01:31, 3 April 2017

Every woman who is getting married must observe Shiva Nekiyim, whether or not she saw any blood, from the time that they began to seriously plan for the wedding. [1]

When Are these Laws Relevant

  1. For a woman who had her period prior to getting married, she has to observe her Shiva Nekiyim anyway since she is a Niddah.[2]
  2. However, this law even applies to a woman who is menopausal and didn't see any blood since she last went to mikveh, nonetheless she must still observe Shiva Nekiyim and go to mikveh before her wedding.[3]
  3. Additionally this law applies to a woman who was divorced and is getting remarried before she had a period. She would, nonetheless, have to observe shiva nekiyim.[4]

A Woman who was Asked to Marry

  1. Once a woman who was asked to get married agrees she has to obverse Shiva Nekiyim, whether or not she saw any blood when she agreed to get married. The reason the rabbis instituted this is because of a concern that she saw blood as a result of her anticipation of getting married and even if there's no blood there's a concern that it was lost. This is termed dam chimud.[5]
  2. For this concern of dam chimud, it isn't necessary to have a hefsek tahara. Yet it is necessary to have bedikot each day of Shiva Nekiyim.[6]
  3. The period of Shiva Nekiyim could begin from when they agree to get married and begin to seriously prepare for the wedding.[7]

Shiva Nekiyim before the Wedding

  1. Initially the tevilah at the conclusion of the shiva nekiyim should take place as close to the wedding as possible. The minhag allows going to mikveh up to 4 days prior to the wedding night. That is, if the wedding is Sunday night the mikveh should be on Wednesday night or later.[8]
  2. A husband doesn't need to ask his wife if she is a niddah at her wedding and he can rely on the fact that he would have been told if she was a niddah.[9]

If the Wedding is Delayed

  1. If the wedding is pushed off because of a fight or another reason and then later they agree to reschedule the wedding, even if she prepared and had her shiva nekiyim, she must have a new shiva nekiyim and tevilah before the wedding.[10]
  2. If the wedding was delayed because of an extenuating circumstance she doesn't need to start her shiva nekiyim again.[11]
  3. If at the time of the fight or other delay they agreed on another date then she doesn't need a new shiva nekiyim.[12]

Sources

  1. Gemara Niddah 66a, Shulchan Aruch YD 192:1
  2. Sidrei Tahara 192:3 quoting the Lechem Chamudot explains that if a woman saw her period prior to her wedding she is like a niddah for all laws and there are no leniencies of dam chimud.
  3. Pitchei Teshuva 192:2
  4. Shulchan Aruch YD 192:5
  5. Shulchan Aruch YD 192:1
  6. Shulchan Aruch YD 192:1
  7. Shulchan Aruch YD 192:2
  8. Rama 192:2, Sidrei Tahara 192:12 s.v vechen
  9. Shach 192:4
  10. Shulchan Aruch YD 192:3
  11. Shach 192:7
  12. Shach 192:6 citing the Bach unlike the Levush. Taz 192:6 agrees. The Shach himself holds that she needs to do a bedika at the time of the fight or other delay. The Chavot Daat 192:6 argues that there is no need for a bedika at the time.