The Three Weeks is a period of time from the fast of Shiva Asar BeTamuz until Tisha BeAv. There are a number of practices of mourning observed in this time in memory of the destruction of the Beit HaMikdash. Starting from Rosh Chodesh Av there is another period called the Nine Days which includes even more stringent practices of mourning. For the laws of the Nine Days, please see the Nine Days page.
- 1 When does the Three Weeks begin?
- 2 Buying new items
- 3 Weddings
- 4 Meals with Friends
- 5 Cutting Hair
- 6 Shaving
- 7 Dancing
- 8 Swimming and Bathing
- 9 Bathing and Showering
- 10 Saying Shehecheyanu
- 11 Eating a new fruit or wearing new clothing
- 12 Listening to Music
- 12.1 Live Music
- 12.2 Non-live music
- 12.3 Live a cappella (singing without instruments)
- 12.4 Non-live a cappella
- 12.5 Singing on Your own
- 12.6 Brit Milah
- 12.7 Siyum
- 12.8 Pidyon HaBen
- 12.9 Bar Mitzvah
- 12.10 Sheva Berachot
- 12.11 Tzedaka Banquet
- 12.12 Learning Torah
- 12.13 A Music teacher or Musician
- 12.14 Music Lessons
- 13 Meat and wine
- 14 Laundry
- 15 Cutting Nails
- 16 Building and Planting
- 17 Miscellaneous
- 18 Haftarot
- 19 Question and Answers
- 20 Links
- 21 Sources
When does the Three Weeks begin?
- The Ashkenazic minhag is to begin mourning from Shiva Asar BeTamuz. 
- Many authorities hold that the practices of mourning begin from the night of Shiva Asar BeTamuz (before the actual fast begins). 
- If Shiva Asar BeTamuz falls out on Shabbat and is pushed off to Sunday, then everyone agrees that the practices of mourning apply the night of the fast (Motzei Shabbat) as some of them apply already on Shabbat. 
Buying new items
- During the Three Weeks, one should not wear any new clothes or eat a new fruit which would obligate one to make a Shehecheyanu. 
- During the Nine Days one should not buy new clothing.
- Knitting and needlecraft is prohibited during the Nine Days.  Repairing a torn garment is permitted 
- If one doesn't have non-leather shoes for Tisha BeAv and one forgot to buy, one may buy them in the Nine Days. 
- If one doesn't have Tefillin or one has the opportunity to buy nicer Tefillin it's permissible to buy them after Rosh Chodesh Av. 
- One should refrain from buying Tzitzit or a Tallit during the three weeks. 
- One should refrain from buying a car during the three weeks unless one is buying it primarily for business purposes (such as a truck).  However, if one's entire family will use it (and benefit from it) one may buy it until Rosh Chodesh Av and make a bracha of HaTov VeHaMetiev instead of Shehecheyanu. 
- If there is a sale and one will be unable to purchase the same clothing after Tisha BeAv at the sale price, one may buy the item during the Nine days, but may not wear the clothing until after Tisha BeAv. 
- Some poskim permit buying a closet or cabinet during the Nine Days, while others forbid it. 
- Some poskim permit buying any necessary appliance, such as a refrigerator, washing machine, or bed, to replace one that broke during the Three Weeks. 
- The Ashkenazic custom is not to get married during the three weeks.  Among Sephardim, some have just the custom not to get married during the nine days (from Rosh Chodesh Av until Tisha BeAv)  and some have the custom not to get married the entire three weeks. 
- Some say that it is permitted for an Ashkenazi to attend a sefardi wedding before Rosh Chodesh Av, and they may even dance at the wedding.  Others hold that it is forbidden. 
- Technically, it is permitted to get married on Motzaei Tisha BeAv, but some have the custom not to. If one is unsure what his custom is, he can be lenient and rely on the ikar hadin that it is permitted. 
- It is permitted to become engaged or write tenaim during the Nine Days, and even on Tisha BeAv itself as long as there is no meal to celebrate or music and dancing.  Until Rosh Chodesh, one is allowed to celebrate the engagement with a festive meal but without dancing. 
- The chattan and kallah to wear Shabbat clothing to their engagement party. 
- Some poskim allow buying the engagement ring during the nine days, while others are strict unless there will be a financial loss.
Meals with Friends
- Some say that it is forbidden to have meals with friends during the nine days.  However, if it isn't a meal but only desserts, that is okay.
- According to Ashkenazim it’s forbidden to cut one’s hair for the entire three weeks, however, according to Sephardim one can cut hair until the week of Tisha BeAv.  One should wait until after chatzot on the tenth of Av to get a haircut. 
- For Sephardim it’s permitted to take a haircut during the three weeks even a Sephardic Yeshiva Bachur in a Ashkenazi Yeshiva  however, it’s preferable to be strict not to cut the entire three weeks. 
- The father of a baby boy, the sandak, and the mohel can all cut their hair on the day of a baby's brit milah. 
- It is forbidden to take a haircut for a bar mitzva. 
- Some say if one’s hair is so long that it is a chatzitzah for tefillin then one is permitted to get a haircut. 
- If not cutting one's hair will cause great monetary loss, one is permitted to cut it during the three weeks but not during the week that Tisha B'av falls out. If one will not lose money, even if the hair makes him uncomfortable he may not cut his hair. 
- Some poskim allow a child under the age of six to get a haircut. 
- It is permitted to comb and style one's hair during the Three Weeks and Nine Days and one doesn't have to worry that one will pull out hairs. 
- The poskim debate if one can trim his eyebrows during the three weeks.
- A woman who needs to cut her hair in order to get married, all the more so if she's already engaged, or if a woman has the custom to cut her hair before going to the mikveh, it's permissible to do so during the three weeks. 
- If a woman’s hair is growing so long that it is becoming difficult for her to keep the hair under the head covering, she can cut it during the three weeks. 
- It is permitted to put on makeup as one would on a regular day of the year but not something extra special. 
- Some say that it is permitted to dye your hair during the nine days. Others say that it is only permitted in the three weeks before the nine days.
- Women may get their sheitels cut or styled during the three weeks, as this is not considered to be their hair, but their clothing. 
- There is a general prohibition of shaving during the three weeks just like hair cuts, however, there are several situations which may warrant shaving which include a person who shaves everyday, shaving for work, and shaving for Kavod Shabbat. As each one of these is a dispute and unclear if it is totally permissible, a person should follow his father’s minhag or ask his local Rabbi for guidance. 
- A mourner who completed his mourning period during the Three Weeks, may take a haircut and a shave until Rosh Chodesh. 
- Women may shave their legs if necessary. 
- Dancing is forbidden during the three weeks even not in the context of a joyous occasion. 
- Some poskim are lenient to permit dancing at a sheva brachot during the three weeks for someone who got married before the three weeks. Other poskim forbid it and even recommend not having a sheva brachot meal.
Swimming and Bathing
- Many hold that it is permissible to swim during the three weeks except in dangerous waters until the nine days (from Rosh Chodesh Av). 
Bathing and Showering
- Some stop bathing and showering for the week of Tisha BeAv and some start already from the nine days.  For Shabbat Chazon, some poskim permit washing the whole body with hot water, 
- Some poskim permit washing or showering to remove dirt or sweat. 
- Men who have the custom to use the mikveh daily can continue to use a cold mikveh during the week of Tisha BeAv even according to the custom that people wouldn't swim or shower. 
- One should refrain from making a Shehecheyanu during the Ben Hamitzarim. 
- However, a pregnant woman or a sick person is permitted to eat new fruit. 
- On Shabbat many poskim are lenient to allow one to recite Shehecheyanu. 
- On Shabbat Chazon one shouldn’t wear new clothes that would require Shehecheyanu. There is also a minhag not to wear new clothing that don't require a Shehecheyanu specifically during the Nine Days. See further on the Nine Days page.
- One shouldn’t make a Shehecheyanu on the night of Shiva Asar BeTamuz. However, if there is a great need, there’s what to rely on. 
- One should not purchase a new talit gadol as this would require making a Shehecheyanu. However, one can purchase a new tallit katan since Shehecheyanu is not recited on those. One may also purchase a tallit gadol if it doesn't have strings up until Rosh Chodesh Av.
- One may purchase a pair of tefillin during the three weeks and even during the nine days.
- A person should recite a Shehecheyanu upon the birth of a baby girl during the three weeks because that Bracha can't wait until after the three weeks. Similarly, at a Pidyon HaBen one should make a Shehecheyanu even during the three weeks. 
- A shehecheyanu should be recited for the Pidyon Haben even during the Three Weeks. 
- One may say the Bracha of HaTov VeHaMeitiv during the three weeks.
Eating a new fruit or wearing new clothing
- Because one shouldn’t make a Shehecheyanu, one shouldn’t eat a new fruit or wear a new clothing because these actions require a Shehecheyanu.  A new fruit that will not be available after the Three Weeks may be eaten and a shehecheyanu recited. 
- Since nowadays we don’t make a Shehecheyanu on buying new clothes but only for wearing new clothes, some permit buying new clothes and some forbid. 
Listening to Music
- It’s forbidden to listen to music from musical instruments during the three weeks. 
- Many authorities forbid listening to recorded music (music with instruments) during the three weeks. 
- If one is driving and is scared of falling asleep, he may listen to music. 
- Programs or other occasions where the musical accompaniment is incidental to the main event may be attended or viewed. 
Live a cappella (singing without instruments)
- Some say that one may listen to vocal music (voices singing) during the three weeks but not the 9 days. 
- Many say that it is permissible to sing with one's mouth during the three weeks. 
Non-live a cappella
- Some say that listening to recorded vocal music is forbidden, while others permit. 
Singing on Your own
- Singing with one’s mouth is permitted during the three weeks. 
- Some permit music at a meal for a Siyum of a Gemara (or the like) during the three weeks. 
- Some permit music at a meal for a Pidyon HaBen during the three weeks. 
- A shehecheyanu should be recited for the pidyon haben during the three weeks. 
- Some say that at a sheva berachot during the three weeks may not have dancing or music,  others permit dancing but no music,  and others permit both dancing and music. 
- It is permissible and a mitzvah to learn Torah with a tune and niggun even during the three weeks. 
A Music teacher or Musician
- Someone who’s profession is to play music before non-Jews or to teach music (and there would be a loss of money if he stops teaching music) may continue until the week of Tisha BeAv but it’s better to be strict from the beginning of the nine days. 
- Some poskim permit taking music lessons if they are not for pleasure and one will forget some skills in his time off. 
Meat and wine
- The Ashkenazic and Sephardic custom is to refrain from meat, poultry, and wine during the nine days. Ashkenazim include Rosh Chodesh in this prohibition, while Sephardim are lenient regarding the day of Rosh Chodesh itself and some Sephardim are strict. 
- Some say that there is what to rely on to have meat leftovers from Shabbat during the nine days, while others forbid. 
- One who needs to eat meat for health reasons such as a child, pregnant woman, nursing woman, or an elderly or sick person is permitted to eat meat, but if he can eat chicken that is preferable. 
- One may eat meat at a meal for a mitzvah such as the meal of a Brit Milah and this includes the relatives and friend invited to the meal however, it doesn’t include those who just walk in to eat. 
- One may eat meat at a meal held for a siyum and this includes the friends and family invited to the meal. 
- One may eat meat a meal held for a Bar Mitzvah only if it’s held the day that the son becomes 13. 
- It is preferable not to even feed children meat during the nine days, but if you do you may have on who to rely. 
- Although the custom is not to eat meat or drink wine during the nine days, stores that sell meat or wine may continue to sell meat or wine because someone who is permitted to eat it, such as a sick person or for a seudat mitzvah may need it.  One is permitted to leave his meat restaurant open during the nine days, because the people who are eating meat during the nine days, without the availability of kosher meat, may go to a non-kosher restaurant but he should preferably serve only chicken. 
- One may taste the meat food on erev shabbat during the nine days but should try not to swallow any meat ingredients. 
- One is permitted to buy meat and wine during the Nine days for use after the Nine days if there is a sale, or he won't have time afterwards. 
- One is permitted to eat food that was cooked in meat pots, as long as not meat was cooked with it, and one cannot taste the taste of the meat in his food. 
- If, by mistake, one recited a blessing over meat or wine, he should taste a bit so that his blessing will not have been in vain. 
- Since the minhag is not to drink wine, a question arises as to what we should do with Havdalah. For sephardim one is permitted to use wine and drink it as usual  while for Ashkenazim there are several possibilities. 
- Even somebody who normally uses a cup of wine for Birkat HaMazon, should not during the nine days except for on Shabbat. 
- The sephardic custom is not to do laundry during the week of Tisha BeAv. Ashkenazic custom is to refrain already from Rosh Chodesh Av,  The same applies with wearing freshly laundered clothing even if they were washed prior to these times. 
- One shouldn't do laundry even if he doesn't plan on wearing the clothes until afterwards, as this distracts him from his mourning. He also should not give it to a non-Jew to do for him. 
- A wig/sheitel is considered an article of clothing for the purposes of laundry during the nine days and therefore one should not wash it or have it set professionally during the nine days. However, one may curl or set the wig at home, provided that they are not professionals. 
- In hospitals, it is permitted to clean the linens and clothing because this is done to keep clean for health reasons and not for pleasure. In hotels and motels they can change the linens for new guests because people are disgusted by using what others have already used. 
- A jewish laundromat that would have no money otherwise may wash non-Jews' clothing during this time. 
- Undergarments which are designed to absorb sweat may be worn freshly-laundered. 
- One is permitted to shine their shoes for Kavod of Shabbat even during the week of Tisha B'av. 
- Cutting nails is permitted during the three weeks up until the week in which Tisha BeAv falls out. 
- Even according to those who prohibit cutting nails during the week of Tisha BeAv permit cutting nails on the friday preceding Tisha BeAv, if Tisha BeAv falls on shabbat.  According to some Poskim only one who cuts his nails every Friday for shabbat may cut his nails on the friday preceding Tisha BeAv. 
- A mohel is permitted to cut his nails in order to perform a Brit Milah. 
- A women going to the mikveh may cut her nails. 
Building and Planting
- One is permitted to build, renovate, or paint for a mitzva like building a shul or yeshiva. 
- One may hire a contractor to make necessary repairs to his home during the three weeks. 
- A non-Jewish contractor is allowed to continue building a house during the three weeks and even on Tisha BeAv if he has already begun to build for a Jew 
- If there is a danger such as that a wall may collapse one is allowed to rebuild it even if this causes joy. 
- During the three weeks a Rabbi should be careful not to hit his students  and a parent should not hit his child. 
- If a Jew has to have a lawsuit with a non-Jew, he should avoid having it with him in Av, as this is a time of ill fortune for a Jew. 
- Although some have the custom to fast during every day between the seventeenth of tammuz until the ninth of av, this should not be kept by a teacher of torah or somebody who is learning. 
- One is permitted to recite the beracha of Hagomel at any point during the three weeks, including Shiva Asar BeTamuz and Tisha BeAv. 
- It is a praiseworthy minhag to recite "tikkun Rachel" after chatzot of the day during the Three Weeks. This is in addition to the praiseworthy minhag to recite "tikkun chatzot" every night after chatzot. "Tikkun Rachel" should not be recited after chatzot of the day on Tish'a Bi'av itself. On Erev Rosh Chodesh, Rosh Chodesh, Erev Shabbat, and Shabbat, "tikkun Rachel" is also not recited during the day. This applies to any day that tachanun is not recited as well, for example a mohel, sandak, and avi haben, should not recite "tikkun Rachel" on the day of the berit milah. "Tikkun Chatzot" is not recited at night during a shemittah year, but a person may nevertheless recite "tikkun Rachel" during the day during the Three Weeks. 
- During the three weeks one should refrain from going to dangerous places and should be even more careful during the nine days. 
- If possible, one should avoid flying on an airplane during the nine days.
- One should not schedule surgery for during the 3 weeks, and certainly not during the 9 days, unless the doctor insists that it cannot be postponed. 
- The custom is to read three tragic haftarot during the three weeks followed by 7 consolation haftarot. 
- On the shabbat prior to Tisha BeAv, Shabbat Chazon, we read Isaiah Perek 1:1-27. It is the final of the three tragic haftarot.
Question and Answers
- Halachos of Three Weeks by Rabbi Ezra Schwartz
- Halachas of the Three Weeks and Nine days - Shiur for Women by Rabbi Yaakov Neuberger
- Article on The Laws Of Bein HaMetzarim by Rabbi Josh Flug
- Rama 551:2 and 4
- *The Chida in Sh"t Chaim Sha’al 1:24 writes that one may not make Shehecheyanu the night of Shiva Asar BeTamuz. Kaf Hachaim 551:207 agrees. Tzitz Eliezer 10:26 maintains that the one may not make a wedding the night of Shiva Asar BeTamuz and bases it on the ruling of the Chida not to say Shehecheyanu from the night of Shiva Asar BeTamuz. He add that according to some achronim the night of the 17th of tammuz is as strict as the Nine Days. In regards to weddings the night of Shiva Asar BeTamuz, Eshel Avraham Mebutchatch OC 551, Nitei Gavriel (Bein HaMetzarim, vol 1, 14:5), Halichot Shlomo (Moadim vol 2, 18:5), and Rabbi Soloveitchik (cited by Rabbi Hershel Schachter in Nefesh Harav page 196) agree. Orchot Rabbeinu (vol 2, pg 127) quotes the Steipler about not taking a haircut the night of Shiva Asar BeTamuz. See also Rav Elyashiv (cited by Doleh UMashkeh pg 207-208), Divrei Moshe 1:33, Shevet Halevi 8:168:7 and 10:81:2, Moadim Uzmanim 8:338, and Moadei Yeshurun (pg 128) who agree with this approach.
- However, Sh"t Igrot Moshe 1:168, 3:100 (at the end), and 4:112(2) permits in cases of great need (such as performing a wedding on Motzei Shabbat the night of Shiva Asar BeTamuz). Igrot Moshe 3:100 adds that since saying Shehecheyanu is a dispute there's no need to be strict not to say it the night of Shiva Asar BeTamuz. Igrot Moshe 4:112(2) writes for great need one can be lenient to cut one's hair the night of Shiva Asar BeTamuz. Shearim Metsuyanim BeHalacha 122:1 agrees. Sh"t Rivevot Efraim 1:375 writes that later Rav Moshe was asked about performing a wedding the night of Shiva Asar BeTamuz and he advised doing the Chupah before Shekiyah. Rav Elyashiv (cited by Doleh U’mashke pg 208 note 557) says that in a pressing situation once can be lenient.
- Sh"t Igrot Moshe 1:168, and 3:100
- Shulchan Aruch 551:17 writes that it is good not to make a Shehecheyanu on a new fruit or new clothing during the Three Weeks.
- The Sh"t Maharil 15 writes that one shouldn't make a Shehecheyanu on a new fruit or new clothing during the Three Weeks. Shulchan Aruch 551:17 codifies this as halacha saying that it is good not to say Shehecheyanu during the Three Weeks. Bach 551 (at the end) agrees and writes because of this one shouldn't eat a new fruit or wear new clothing.
- The Bach 551 writes that because of avoiding situations which would obligate Shehecheyanu one shouldn't buy or wear new clothing during the Three Weeks. Kaf HaChaim 551:210 agrees. Mishna Brurah 551:99 writes that one shouldn't wear the new clothing. Although the Bear Mayim Chaim 7 writes that the only issue is not to make the bracha of Shehecheyanu, however, one may eat a new fruit and just not make Shehecheyanu, the Maamar Mordechai 551:14 rejects this idea and doesn't allow eating the new fruit. The Mishna Brurah 551:99 and Kaf HaChaim 551:207 agree with the Maamar Mordechai.
- The Rabbenu Shevet (quoted by the Mordechai Taanit 633) writes that one may not fix or wear new clothes during the week in which Tisha BeAv falls and adds that it is proper to be strict about this during the Nine Days. He bases this on the Yerushalmi (Pesachim 4:1) which says that it is a proper minhag not to sew from the beginning of Av. Bet Yosef 551:6 explains that although the Yerushalmi said not to sew during the Nine Days, that's only a minhag, however, there is only an actual prohibition during the week in which Tisha BeAv falls out. Shulchan Aruch 551:6 rules that it is forbidden to wear new clothes during the week in which Tisha BeAv falls out and the Rama adds that the Ashkenazic minhag is to be strict on this starting from Rosh Chodesh Av (during the entire Nine Days). The Magen Avraham 551:21 is bothered why there is another prohibition to wear new clothes (Shulchan Aruch 551:6) if one can't wear new clothes anyway because of avoiding making Shehecheyanu during the entire Three Weeks (Shulchan Aruch 551:17). See there where he gives 2 answers. The Kaf HaChaim 551:88 answers that avoiding Shehecheyanu is only considered preferable by Shulchan Aruch 551:17, while not wearing new clothes during the week during which Tisha BeAv falls out is an actual prohibition.
- Nonetheless, in light of Shulchan Aruch 551:17's ruling to avoid Shehecheyanu, Mishna Brurah 551:99 writes that one shouldn't eat a new fruit or wear new clothing during the Three Weeks. Chazon Ovadyah (Arba Taniyot p. 129) agrees.
- Rama 551:7 writes that buying new clothing is forbidden during the Nine Days just like fixing new clothing (which is discussed in the previous footnote). The Mishna Brurah 551:49 writes that it's forbidden to buy new clothes even if one will only wear them after Tisha BeAv. Kaf HaChaim 551:103 agrees.
- Rav Shimon Eider Halachos of the Three Weeks page 11.
- Iggerot Moshe, OC 3:79.
- Sh"t Halachot Ketanot 1:139, Zeh HaShulchan (vol 2, Siman 551), Sh"t Rivevot Efraim 1:375 in the name of Rav Moshe Feinstein Iggerot Moshe 3:80
- Zeh HaShulchan (vol 1, Siman 551), Sh"t Rivevot Efraim 1:375 in the name of Rav Moshe Feinstein Iggerot Moshe OC 3:80
- Sh"t Rivevot Efraim 1:375 in the name of Rav Moshe Feinstein writes that one should refrain from buying Tzitzis or a Talis. Similarly, Or LeArba Asar (pg 81) writes that one should buy and wear it (and make Shehecheyanu) before the three weeks, however, after the fact if one didn't and one doesn't have as nice a pair one is permitted to wear it. Sh"t Birkat Reuven Shlomo 9:31 agrees. She'elat yaavetz 82 says that if your tzitzit become pasul and you don't have another, you may wear or even purchase a new one to fulfill the mitzva.
- Sh"t Rivevot Efraim 1:375 in the name of Rav Moshe Feinstein
- Sh"t Igrot Moshe 3:80, Sh"t Rivevot Efraim 1:375, Nitay Gavriel Page 51
- Sh"t Kinyan Torah 1:109 quoted in Piskei Tshuvos 551:27
- Torat Hamoadim 5:16 says that buying closets or cabinets doesn't make one joyful and is therefore permitted but Iggerot Moshe 3:82 says a bookshelf does make people happy and is not allowed to be bought.
- Piskei Teshuvot 551:11
- Rama 551:2 and Darchei Moshe 551:5 based on the Sefer Haminhagim, Chayei Adam 133:8, Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 122:1, Hilchot UMinhagei Ben HaMetsarim (Rabbi Moshe Karp) 3:1, Nitei Gavriel Bein Hametzarim vol. 1, 14:8. On the night of Shiva Asar Bitammuz itself, Rav Moshe Feinstein (OC 168) is lenient, while Tzitz Eliezer 10:26 is strict.
- Shulchan Aruch 551:2, based on gemara Yevamot 43b, Yalkut Yosef (Moadim, 5748 edition, pg 554, Chazon Ovadyah (Arba Taaniyot pg 140), Sh"t Yabia Omer OC 6:43, Sh"t Yechave Daat 1:36, Sh"t Or Litzion 3:25:1
- Ben Ish Chai Parashat Devarim Halacha 4 based on the Shyarei Knesset Hagedola, Sdei Chemed 6 Marechet Bein Hametzarim 1:10, Rabbi Mansour on DailyHalacha.com says that this is the Syrian minhag.
- Nitei Gavriel Bein Hametzarim vol. 1, 14:10, Teshuvot Vihanhagot 4:128
- Rivevot Ephraim 6:289
- Sh"t Yabia Omer 2:23:16, Sh"t Yechave Daat 5:41.
- Shulchan Aruch 551:2 with Magen Avraham 551:10, and Mishna Brurah 551:16 and 19, Tur 551 in the name of Rav Nissim, Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 122:1, Pri Megadim Eshel Avraham 551:10, Baer Heitev 551:11, Moed Likol Chai 9:18, Ben Ish Chai Parashat Devarim 1:5, Chayei Adam 133:8, Aruch Hashulchan 551:8, Yalkut Yosef Moadim page 553.
However, the Tzitz Eliezer (13:60) notes that many Jews refrain from doing so on Tisha B'Av. In addition, the Ben Ish Chai (Devarim: Halacha 4) writes that in Baghdad, they would not get engaged during the nine days between Rosh Chodesh Av and Tisha B'Av. He says further that it is preferred not to get engaged at all during the "Three Weeks."
- Mishna Brurah 551:19
- Halichos Shlomo Moadim 2:14:4
- Rav Shlomo Zalman Auerbach in Shalmei Simcha page 61
- Igros Moshe E.H. 4:84
- Aruch Hashulchan 551:8
- Nitai Gavriel (Ben Hametzarim 16:1) based on Magen Avraham 551:10
- The Gemara in Taanit 26b says that one shouldn’t cut one’s hair the week of Tisha BeAv. This Gemara is brought as Halacha by the Rambam (Taaniot 5:6). The Ramban (Torat HaAdam (Aveilut Yishana pg 346) explains that this prohibition applies to all hair on the body except the mustache if it interferes with eating. The Tur and S”A 551:3,12-13 rule like the Ramban that during the week of Tisha BeAv one is forbidden to cut any hair on one’s body except if there’s facial hair interfering with eating. Chazon Ovadyah (Arba Taniyot pg 158) and Ben Ish Chai Devarim 12 write that this is Sephardic custom. However, Darkei Moshe 551:5 and Rama 551:4 rules that Ashkenazim should be strict not to cut hair all three weeks like the Sefer Minhagim (pg 74). Levush 3, Chayei Adam 133:8, Mishna Brurah 551:82, Aruch Hashulchan 551:31, Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 122:3. Aruch Hashulchan 551:16 says the reason for this is that if we were allowed to get haircuts until Rosh Chodesh Av it would not be clear that we grew our hair for mourning, therefore we stop cutting it for the entire three weeks.
- Aruch Hashulchan 551:16.
- Sh”t Yechave Daat 4:36, 3:39, Sh”t Yabia Omer 3:31:5, Yalkut Yosef (Kitzur S”A 551(2):11)
- Chazon Ovadyah (Arba Taniyot pg 158-9)
- Shaar Hatziyun 551:4 quoting the Chatam Sofer 158, Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 122:15, Kaf ha-Chayim 551:10, Pitchei Teshuvah 551:1, She’arim Metzuyanim b'Halachah 122:16. Baer Heitev 551:3 is stringent.
- Rav Moshe Feinstein quoted in Moadei Yeshurun page 128. Rivevot Ephraim 1:337, 2:155:20, Nitei Gavriel 20:6 allow for a bar mitzva boy to get a haircut until the week of Tisha BeAv.
- Shalmei Moed page 476, Nitei Gavriel 19:7
- Iggerot Moshe OC 4:102. see Igros Moshe Choshen Mishpat 93. see also See also Halichos Shlomo Moadim vol. 2 page 414
- Iggerot Moshe YD 1:224 and Aruch Hashulchan 551:31. Mishna Brurah 551:81 and Shaar Hatziyun 551:91 as well as the Chayei Adam 133:18 conclude that children even below 6 should not get haircuts and bring two reasons from the Terumat Hadeshen 142. One being chinuch, in which case it would only apply to older than six and the other being "agmat nefesh," meaning it makes people feel more pain to see children mourning, in which case it would apply to even children under 6. Chanoch lanaar 21:2:1, Nitei Gavriel 20:7, Rivevot Ephraim 1:336:2, 2:155:19 say that if an upsherin falls out during the three weeks one should either push it up or postpone it. Torat Yekutiel 1:47 is lenient.
- Eliya Rabba 551:7, Shaare Teshuva 551:12, Mishna Brurah 551:20, Aruch Hashulchan 551:15, Sh"t Yechave Daat 6:35, Ben Ish Chai Devarim 14, Kaf Hachayim 551:46.
- Rav Moshe Feinstein (quoted in Nitei Gavriel Bein Hametzarim pg. 130) says that may not do so during the three weeks either. Rav Shlomo Zalman Auerbach (Halichot Shlomo vol. 2: pg. 414) disagrees and permits it. Devar Halachah 9, Shalmei Moed page 477 agrees.
- Chazon Ovadyah (Arba Taniyot pg 163), Shalmei Moed (pg 477), Iggerot Moshe YD 2:137, Halichot Shelomo 3:14, Devar Halachah 10, Shalmei Moed Perek 89. see also Nefesh Harav 191-192 where he writes that it makes sense to say that women should be allowed to get haircuts up until the week of Tisha B'av.
- Mishnah Brurah 551:79, Rivevot Ephraim 8:178
- Rav Broner on tzohar.org.il, din.org.il, and Rav Sherlow. This is also the implication of the Nitai Gavriel (Ben Hametzarim 73 fnt. 10).
- http://shut.moreshet.co.il/shut2.asp?id=116844, https://www.toraland.org.il/%D7%A9%D7%90%D7%9C%D7%95%D7%AA-%D7%95%D7%AA%D7%A9%D7%95%D7%91%D7%95%D7%AA/%D7%91%D7%9E%D7%A2%D7%92%D7%9C-%D7%94%D7%A9%D7%A0%D7%94/%D7%91%D7%99%D7%9F-%D7%94%D7%9E%D7%A6%D7%A8%D7%99%D7%9D/%D7%A6%D7%91%D7%99%D7%A2%D7%AA-%D7%A9%D7%99%D7%A2%D7%A8-%D7%91%D7%91%D7%99%D7%9F-%D7%94%D7%9E%D7%99%D7%A6%D7%A8%D7%99%D7%9D/. http://www.shoresh.org.il/spages/shut/shut4811.htm writes that it is permitted during the nine days if there's a specific pressing need otherwise it should be delayed.
- Nitei Gavriel Bein Hamitzarim pg. 139
- Since S”A 551:12 rules that it’s forbidden to cut any hair on one’s body during the week of Tisha BeAv as a din from the Gemara it would seem clear that it’s forbidden to shave during the week of Tisha BeAv. Additionally, Ashkenazim who follow the Rama shouldn’t be able to shave during the entire three weeks as Rama 551:4 writes that the minhagim of the week of Tisha BeAv apply to the entire three weeks. However, there are several leniencies in the Achronim.
- (1) Shaving Regularly: Magen Avraham 551:14 explains that the reason the Rama is strict by cutting hair all three week and is lenient by washing clothes (that it should only begin from Rosh Chodesh Av) is because it wasn’t common to cut hair every week. This Magen Avraham is brought by the Achronim including the Chaye Adam 133:17, and Mishna Brurah 551:32. Additionally, Aruch HaShulchan 551:16 explains that it takes 3 weeks of not cutting hair to make it recognizable that one is in mourning. Based on this, Shearim Metzuyanim BeHalacha 122:5 says that those who usually shave every 2-3 days should be able to shave since for them it’s just like washing clothes. Rav Ovadyah in Chazon Ovadyah (Vol Arba Taniot pg 162) based on this M”A says that seemingly, Ashkenazim should be allowed to shave for Kavod Shabbat prior to the week of Tisha BeAv. However, Sh”t Shaar Zekenim pg 88a (quoted by Kaf HaChaim 551:65), Shivilei Dovid 551:4, and Rav Vozner in Sh”t Shevet HaLevi 10:81:3 reject this leniency based on the minhag to be strict for all circumstances.
- (2) Uncomfortable: (a) Rabbi Elazar Melamed in Peninei Halacha (zmanim pg 154-5) writes that if a person shaves everyday it’s very uncomfortable not to shave and it’s similar to S”A 551:13 that permits shaving a moustache that interferes with eating. (b)Rav Soloveitchik (quoted by Nefesh HaRav, Rav Schachter pg 191 and Shiurei Harav Al Inyanei Aveilut V'Tisha B'Av, pages 20-21 compared the three weeks to the Aveilut of a year, the week of Tisha BeAv (or according to Ashkenazim, from Rosh Chodesh) compares to the Aveilut of Shloshim, and Tisha BeAv itself is like Aveilut of Shiva. Accordingly, Rav Schachter writes that one who regularly shaves every day would be allowed to shave everyday until Rosh Chodesh Av. (Rav Schachter supports this comparison from Sh”t Panim Meirot 3:37e, and goes so far as to question Sh”t Igrot Moshe Y”D 2:137 who compares the week of Tisha BeAv to Aveilut of Shiva.)
- (3) Shaving Specifically: Seemingly, from S”A 551:12 all bodily hair can’t be cut including shaving a beard. However, Sh”t Chatam Sofer Y”D 348 s.v. VeIy Galach writes that the entire prohibition only applies to cutting one’s hair but the poskim never spoke about shaving facial hair. This chiluk is also made by the Sh”t Nodeh BeYehuda O”C 14. Shearim Metsuyanim BeHalacha 122:5 brings these achronim as halacha for someone who needs to shave for work.
- (4) Monetary loss: (a)Sh”t Maharam Shik Y”D 371 writes that there is what to defend those who it’s difficult to do business with important people without shaving and during the year they regularly shave every 2-3 days to continue in the three weeks until the week of Tisha BeAv. (b) Sh”t Igrot Moshe C”M 1:93, O”C 4:102, 5:24:9 writes that by losing a business deal or customers that will affect one’s income after Tisha BeAv, one can shave until the week of Tisha BeAv, but during the week of Tisha BeAv itself it’s only permissible to shave if one will not be able to make an income after Tisha BeAv or without working one needs to borrow money and it’s difficult to find someone to borrow from). Halachos of the Three Weeks by Rabbi Eider p. 3 writes that a person who needs to shave for work can shave during the three weeks but shouldn't during the nine days or at least the week when Tisha B'av falls out.(c) Maadenei Shlomo pg 51 brings Rav Shlomo Zalman Auerbach who says that if there’s a chance you’ll lose your job you can shave (even during the week of Tisha BeAv). Halichot Shlomo pg 414 brings Rav Shlomo Zalman Auerbach who says that it’s permissible for a person who is in danger of losing a lot of money or his job may shave during the three weeks. (d)Shearim Metsuyanim BeHalacha brings the Taz 551:1 (brought by Mishna Brurah 551:12) that says nowadays we don’t decrease our business activity during this time since we have to pay government taxes and all income is included in our Parnasa and therefore here too if there’s a chance of losing Parnasa that can be considered a concern of loss of money.
- (4) Kavod Shabbat: (a) Magen Avraham 551:14 and Mishna Brurah 551:32 write that the prohibition of cutting hair applies even for Kavod Shabbat (unlike laundering which is relaxed for Kavod Shabbat for someone who doesn't have other clothes, because people don't cut their hair either way weekly). Yet, Pri Megadim (A”A 551:14) writes that according to Rama one can shave in honor of Shabbat until Rosh Chodesh Av. However, Mateh Yehuda 551:4 writes that even in honor of Shabbat one can’t shave during the three weeks. (b) On this dispute, Kaf HaChaim 551:66 writes that in this regard in depends on the minhag of the place (to follow the Pri Megadim or not), and Rabbi Moshe Karp in Hilchot UMinhagei Ben HaMeysarim (pg 25) writes that the Pri Megadim was more in line with minhag Ashkenaz than the Mateh Yehuda and there’s a lot to rely on to follow Pri Megadim. (c) Even on the original position of the Magen Avraham, the Hagahot Rabbi Akiva Eiger and Beiur Halacha 551:3 s.v. VeChen (based on Tosfot Tanit and the Yerushalmi) argue that cutting hair should be permissible for Kavod Shabbat even for Shabbat Chazon. [However, the Rishonim themselves don’t all agree with Tosfot including the Kol Bo (quoted in Bet Yosef 551:4) who wouldn’t shave before Shabbat chazon and the Bet Yosef (who argues on Tosfot that it’s impossible to think that it’s permissible to cut hair on Tisha BeAv for Kavod Shabbat).] (d) Ashkenazim: Sh”t Ner Ezra (vol 2 pg 155-8) concludes that one can be lenient to shave for Kavod Shabbat and quotes Rav Aharon Lichtenstein who agrees. Weekly Parsha Halacha by Rabbi Neustadt writes that since many do shave regularly (more than once a week) there is a basis for the lenient minhag (based on the logic of the Magen Avraham). Nonetheless, the Shemirat Shabbat KeHilchata 42:52 writes simply like the Mishna Brurah not to shave during the three weeks even for Kavod Shabbat. (e)Sephardim: Rav Ovadyah Yosef (Sh"t Yechave Daat 3:39, Sh”t Yabia Omer 3:31:5; Chazon Ovadyah pg 162) writes that there is what to rely on to shave Friday of Shabbat Chazon if ones beard is uncomfortable, and certainly there’s what to rely on for Ashkenazim to shave for Kavod Shabbat during the rest of the three weeks. (e) Someone in doubt: Rabbi Rabinowitz (quoted in Peninei Halacha by 156) says that a person should follow the minhag of his father so as not to appear more lenient or strict that his father.
- Mishna Brurah 551:87, Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 122:14
- Rav Moshe Feinstein quoted in Moadei Yeshurun page 128 note 9, Kitzur Hilchot Bein hametzarim page 4.
- Magen Avraham 551:10 says explicitly that it is forbidden to dance during the three weeks even if not in the context of a joyous occasion such as an engagement. The Eliya Rabba 551:6, Pri Megadim E"A 551:10, Baer Hetiev 551:11, Mishna Brurah 551:16, Ben Ish Chai (Shana Rishona, Devarim no. 5), Yalkut Yosef (Moadim pg 560, Kitzur S”A 551:9), Chazon Ovadyah (Arba Taaniyot pg 149), Simchat Cohen 162, and Lehorot Natan 10:49 all concur that dancing is forbidden during the three weeks.
- Lehorot Natan 10:49 explains that not dancing during the three weeks is a minhag but making the chatan and kallah happy at sheva brachot is a Biblical or rabbinic obligation.
- Keneh Bosem 3:36. Nitai Gavriel (Three Weeks 6:5) cites poskim about this dispute.
- Sh"t Teshuvot VeHanhagot 2:263, Piskei Teshuvot 551:46 Rabbi Ayreh Lebowitz, Moadei Yeshurun (pg 128) quoting Rav Moshe, Halichot Shlomo (Moadim, vol 2, chap 14, note 7), MeBayit Levi (vol 13, pg 22, note 5) quoting Rav Wosner, Sh"t Rivevot Ephraim 3:333, 4:135:14, 6:285:2, and Shevet HaKehati 1:169:4. Rabbi Eider quotes Rav Moshe Iggerot Moshe Even Haezer 4:84 who says even during the nine days if one is sweating or dirty and wants to wash off it's permissible to dip in the pool for a short time. Shaarim mitzuyanim bihalacha kuntres acharon 122:12 is lenient with children swimming in private area during the nine days, but not in public, like camps. Yechave Daat 1:38 says that sephardim are permitted to swim throughout the three weeks, nine days, and week of Tisha BeAv but ashkenazim who follow the Rama should not. Rabbi Eli Mansour says the syrian minhag is not to swim during the week in which Tisha BeAv falls out.
- Rambam Hilchot Taaniot 5:6 says from the week of and the Mordechai Taanit 639 says from Rosh Chodesh Av. Both opinions are quoted in Shulchan Aruch 551:16. Kaf Hachayim 551:186 says to follow whatever the custom of the place where you are living. Yechave Daat 1:38 says that the sephardic custom is that one is permitted to shower in cold water throughout and only has to stop using hot water for the week of Tisha BeAv.
- Yechave Daat 1:38
- Aruch Hashulchan 551:37
- Kaf Hachayim 551:190, Ben Ish Chai Devarim 16, Yechave Daat 1:38
- Shulchan Aruch 551:17 based on Maharil 31 writes that one should refrain from saying Shehecheyanu during Ben HaMeysarim. The Magen Avraham 551:42 explains that the reason not to make Shehecheyanu is because the three weeks is a time of tragedy for Klal Yisrael and it’s improper to have extra joy. However, the Gra s.v. VeNohagin understands the practice as based on Aveilut and therefore argues that this is only an extra chumra and one is allowed to make Shehecheyanu (just like a mourner can make a Shehecheyanu as in Brachot 59b). The Taz 551:17 agrees to be lenient based on the concern that perhaps if you don’t make the Bracha now you may not be able after the Ben HaMeysarim. Mishna Brurah 551:98 concludes that one shouldn’t be lenient except on Shabbat. Yalkut Yosef 551:12 rules like Shulchan Aruch that one should refrain from making Shehecheyanu during the three weeks.
- Mishna Brurah 551:99, Yalkut Yosef 551:13
- Sefer Chasidim 840, Mateh Moshe 697, Yosef Ometz 861, Magen Avraham 551:21,42, Chaye Adam 133:8, Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 122:2, and Sh"t Yechave Daat 1:37 permit making Shehecheyanu on Shabbat. However, the Magen Avraham 551:42 quotes the Kitvei HaArizal who is machmir even on Shabbat. Mishna Brurah 551:98 concludes that one can be lenient regarding making Shehecheyanu on Shabbat since there’s some are lenient on shechiyanu during all of the three weeks and there’s some who specifically permit Shabbat.
- Eliyah Rabba 551:17 in name of Madenei Yom Tov that one should not wear new clothes even on Shabbat during the Three Weeks because wearing new clothes has a special aspect of happiness (which is greater than eating a new fruit). This is also the opinion of the Derech HaChaim 551:6 and Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 122:2 not to wear new clothes all three weeks including Shabbat. However, Chaye Adam 133:14 and Aruch HaShulchan 551:38 writes that one can make Shehecheyanu before Rosh Chodesh Av, but afterwards one shouldn’t make Shehecheyanu even on Shabbat. Additionally, Mishna Brurah 551:45 writes that even those who are lenient to make Shehecheyanu on Shabbat during the Three Weeks will agree to be strict on Shabbat Chazon not to wear new clothes (which has a special element of happiness that a new fruit doesn’t have). Sh”t Yechave Daat 1:37 and Torat HaMoadim 5:7 concurs to the opinion of Mishna Brurah.
- Rama 551:7, Mishna Brurah 551:9
- Sh”t Sh”t Chaim Shal 1:24, Kaf HaChaim 551:207, Sdei Chemed 5:page 277, Beiur Halacha 551:2 and Ikrei HaDaat O”C 27:9 write that one shouldn’t say Shehecheyanu on the night of Shiva Asar BeTamuz. However, Nechamat Yisrael (pg 40) permits in case of great need based on Sh”t Igrot Moshe O”C 1:168 (so is explicit in Sh”t Igrot Moshe O”C 3:100) and Mishnat Yacov (pg 168) permits Shehecheyanu at night even without any need.
- Iggerot Moshe 3:80
- Moadei Yeshurun pg. 129:13b and pg. 152:34 in the name of Rav Moshe
- Iggerot Moshe 3:80
- Nitei Gavriel 17:19, Avnei Yishpeh 5:80 based on Maharil 31 who says the restriction of saying shehecheyanu is only on a beracha that can wait until after.
- Nitei Gavriel 17:20
- Shulchan Aruch 551:17, Moed Likol Chai 9:25
- Nitei Gavriel 17:22, Shaare Teshuvah 551:10, Moed Likol Chai 9:24, Machazik Beracha 551:10, Rav Chaim Kanievsky quoted in Nechamas Yisroel page 45:footnote 14, Rivevot Ephraim 4:135:2, 7:58, 234, Avnei Yushfe 5:81 quoting Rav Wosner, Ohr Litziyin 3:25:4
- Sh”t Chaim Sheol O”C 7 and Ketonet Yosef 11 (quoted in Kaf HaChaim 551:207) writes that even though one can’t make a Shehecheyanu during the 3 weeks, one can eat a new fruit or wear new clothes without a Bracha. However, the Sefer Chasidim 840, Shaarei Knesset HaGedolah 551:52, Bach 551e, Maamer Mordechai 551:14, Yometz Ometz 56, Bear Heitev 551:20, and Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 122:2 write that one is not allowed to have a new fruit during the three weeks without a Bracha, since having a new fruit requires a Bracha and it can’t be made during the three weeks. Birkei Yosef 551:12, Shaare Teshuva 551:38, Kaf Hachayim 551:215 say that a shehecheyanu may be recited if by mistake the Borei pri haetz was already said over a new fruit.
- Rama OC 551:17
- Halichot Shlomo pg 411 brings from the Talmidim of Rav Shlomo Zalman Aurbach that it’s permissible to buy new clothes since nowadays we don’t make a Bracha on buying clothes. This is the ruling of Mishna Brurah 551:45 and Kaf Hachayim 551:88, see Nechamet Yisrael pg 40
- Sh”t Kapei Aharon 52 writes that it’s clearly forbidden to listen to music during the three weeks. Sh”t Igrot Moshe 1:166 and Sh"t Yechave Daat 6:34 agree. Nitei Gavriel 15:1 writes that this law is missing from S”A and early poskim because there’s a general prohibition of Listening to Music and so there was no question about the three weeks. [There is a hint to the prohibition in the Pri Megadim and Maharam Shik who discuss playing music for an income during the three weeks.] However, because many are lenient like the Rama (unlike S”A and Bach) and are lenient regarding music all year, this question became relevant and it’s unanimously accepted by contemporary poskim that music is forbidden during the three weeks because it brings with it simcha just like dancing (explicitly forbidden by Magen Avraham 551:10). See next notes.
- Yalkut Yosef (Moadim, 5748 edition, pg 554), Nitay Gavriel 15:1, Penieni Halacha (pg 144), Sh"t Shevet Halevi 6:69 and 8:127:2, Tzitz Eliezer 15:33:2, Divrei Shalom 3:118, Az Nidberu 8:58 and 10:23:2, Rivevot Ephraim 4:177, Halichot Shlomo Moadim 2:14:3 note 4, Or Litzion 3:25:2, Sh"t Iggerot Moshe OC 1:166 and 3:87, Torat Hamoadim 5:2, Sh”t Yachave Daat 6:34 and 3:30, Chazon Ovadyah (Arba Taniyot pg 151), and Rabbi Mansour in Daily Halacha hold that recorded music is forbidden during the three weeks. See also Sh"t Igrot Moshe YD 2:137, Minchat Yitzchak 1:111, Shalmat Chaim 29:1, Mishnat Sachir 2:145, Sh”t Ohel Yisachar 39.
- Or Litzion 3:25:2, Shevet Halevi 8:127:2.
- Rav Moshe Feinstein quoted in Ohalei Yeshurun page 128. Rav Mordachai Eliyahu (Mikraei Kodesh 7: note 14) was asked about listening to news which begins with a small tune, or waiting on hold with a tune in the background and he responded leniently. He added though that those who refrain even from listening to this shall be blessed.
- Mekor Chaim 551:1 and Or letzion 3:25:2 write that during the 9 days one shouldn’t listen to even vocal music. This is brought as halacha in the Halachot UMinhagei Ben HaMesarim (by Rabbi Moshe Karp pg 25) and Nachmat Yisrael 3:3. Chazon Ovadyah (pg 151-4) and Torat Hamoadim 5:2 are lenient with vocal song that are praise to Hashem (especially for Shabbat including Shabbat Chazon).
- Mekadesh Yisroel (pg 20), Chut Shuni (Shabbat, vol 2, pg 325), Sh"t Shevet HaLevi 3:15, Halachically Speaking (Vol 5, Issue 13, note 46)
- Sh”t Shevet Halevi 6:69, 8:127:2, Nitei Gavriel 15:1, Sh”t Tzitz Eliezer 15:33, Piskei Shemuot (pg 54) quoting Rav Elyashiv and Rav Karlitz, and Nechmat Yisrael 3:4 forbid listening to a recorded vocal song. However, Sh”t Igrot Moshe YD 2:137 and Sh”t Yachave Daat 6:34 permit (regarding Jewish music). Halachically Speaking quotes Rav Yisrael Belsky and Rav Efraim Greenblatt who forbid listening to singing which is meant to simulate actual music such as A capella because it creates the same musical experience. Rabbi Aryeh Lebowitz writes that most permit listening to recorded voices singing. Halichot Shlomo Moadim 2:14:footnote 5, Shalmei Moed page 478, Mekadesh Yisroel 21 permit listening to a CD of chazzanut without music even if one finds it enjoyable. Rav Shlomo Daichovsky techumin 21, argues that there is no source to prohibit music, whether during the Three Weeks, the Omer, or during the twelve month mourning period after losing a parent, and concludes that any music which will not lead to dancing is permitted.
- Mekadesh Yisrael 20, Shevet Halevi 3:157. However, Orchos Rabbeinu 2: page 95 is stringent except for on Shabbat.
- In general, Rama (551:3) permits music for a dvar mitzvah like a wedding. However, the Yavetz in his siddur (Amudei Shesh; quoted by Yafeh Lelev 560:7) writes that a simcha of a Brit Milah there should be no music. Eliyah Rabba 551:26 writes that the minhag is like the Yavetz. Regarding the three weeks Chida in Sh”t Chaim Shal 1:21 writes that the (Sephardic) minhag is to be lenient to have music at a meal of a Brit Milah. Ikrei HaDaat (Y”D 36:23), Sh”t Maaseh Avraham (Y”D 48), Moed Kol Chai (10:20), Ot Chaim VeShalom (the Munchatch Rebbe; 265:29), Torat HaMoadim 5:4, and Sh”t Yachave Daat 1:45 write that the Sephardic minhag is to be lenient by the meal of a Brit Milah. (It seems that Shirei Knesset HaGedolah 551:33 who’s strict regarding the party for a Milah at night, but would agree concerning the meal right after the Milah. Additionally, it seems Sh”t Igrot Moshe 1:166 would agree as he even discusses a tzedaka banquet regarding music the rest of the year.)
- Sh”t Yachave Daat 1:45 writes that music is permitted for a seudat mitzvah including a siyum. Torat HaMoadim 5:4 and Yalkut Yosef (Moadim, 5748 edition, pg 554) extend this to even during the three weeks.
- Sh”t Yechave Daat 1:45 permits music at a seudat mitzvah such as a Pidyon HaBen. Torat HaMoadim 5:4 and Yalkut Yosef (Moadim, 5748 edition, pg 554, and Yalkut Yosef Sova Semachot vol. 2 pg. 333) extend this to even during the three weeks.
- Shulchan Aruch 551:17, Moed Likol Chai 9:25, Yalkut Yosef Sova Semachot vol. 2 pg. 333
- Sh"t Yachava Daat 6:34, Yalkut Yosef (Moadim, 5748 edition, pg 554), and Torat HaMoadim 5:4 permit music at a simchat Bar Mitzvah during the three weeks. However, Darkei Horah (Dinei Ben Hametsarim pg 17, by Rav Asher Weiss) and Natai Gavriel (Ben HaMetzarim chapter 16:3) forbid. Halichot Emet 7:12 writes that the sephardic minhag is to be lenient and ashkenazic minhag is to be strict. Halachically Speaking writes that some are lenient.
- Sh"t Shevet Halevi 3:157, Orchos Rabbeinu 2:page 128:9, Moadim Uzmanim 8:338.
- Rav Moshe Feinstein quoted in Moadei Yeshurun page 129:11, Rav Elyashiv quoted in Avnei Yushfei 1:113, Sh"t Mishna Halachot 6:109, Chazon Ovadia Taaniot page 153
- Lehoros Noson 10:49.
- Sh”t Igrot Moshe O”C 166 permits all types of festivities of mitzvah and says that perhaps even a tzadeka banquet perhaps can be included. However, the Sh”t Igrot Moshe concludes that during the three weeks we are more strict regarding music and therefore there is almost nothing to rely on to play music at a tzedaka banquet.
- Sh”t Mishna Halachot 6:107, Sh”t Yachave Daat 6:34, Torat HaMoadim 5:2, Sedei Chemed (Peat Sadeh, Ben HaMetsarim 1:10),
- Chazon Ovadyah (Arba Taaniyot pg 156), Nitei Gavriel 15:6, Shearim Metzuyanim Bihalacha 122:1. See also Yalkut Yosef (Moadim, 5748 edition, pg 554), Beiur Halacha 551:2 "mimaatim", Iggerot Moshe OC 3:87, Rivevot Ephraim 6:291:1, Torat Hamoadim page 123, Betzel Hachochma 6:61, Kinyan Torah 2:99.
- Sh"t Tzitz Eliezer 16:19. Kaf Hachayim 551:41 writes that preferably it should not be done, and even if one is lenient it should only be sad songs. Miyum Hahalacha 1:83, Emes Liyaakov 551:footnote 506 also say that it is preferable not to. The Pri Megadim Eshel Avraham 551:10 writes that parallel to the concept of davar ha'aved on chol hamoed, the rabbis permitted somebody who needs to dance or play music for livelihood to do so.
- The gemara Baba Batra 60b quotes the opinion of Rabbi Yishmael Ben Elisha that after the destruction of the Beit HaMikdash, it would have been appropriate for the rabbis to ban eating meat and drinking wine in order to properly mourn. However, since most of the congregation would not be able to abide by this, the rabbis never made it. Biur HaGra OC 551:9 writes that this is the source for refraining from eating meat and drinking wine prior to Tisha BeAv, that although it is impossible to ban eating meat and drinking wine throughout the year, it is possible to refrain from meat and wine for a short period of time. The Mishna in Taanit 26b the Gemara 30a discuss the prohibition of eating meat during the seudat hamafseket prior to Tisha BeAv. Rambam Hilchot Taaniot 5:6 says that the custom is to extend the prohibition beyond that meal. He says that some don't eat meat during the week of Tisha BeAv, and some don't eat from rosh chodesh av and onward. Shulchan Aruch 551:9 writes that there are three customs about not eating meat and drinking wine; some refrain only for the week on Tisha BeAv, some refrain for the nine days (from Rosh Chodesh Av), some refrain for the whole three weeks. Mishna Brurah 551:58 writes that the Ashkenazic custom is not to eat meat or drink wine for the nine days including Rosh Chodesh Av but excluding Shabbat (Mishna Brurah 551:59). This is also written in the Weekly Halacha by Rabbi Neustadt. Sh"t Yechave Daat 1:41, Moed Likol Chai 9:15, Rav Bentzion Mussafi, and Kaf Hachayim 551:125 write that the Sephardic custom is to refrain from eating meat and wine during the nine days, however, on Rosh Chodesh the minhag is to be lenient, however, some are strict. See also Chazon Ovadyah (Arba Taniyot pg 169), Rabbi Mansour on dailyhalacha.com, and Halachot and History of The Three Weeks (by Rabbi Shlomo Churba, pg 37) who all write that the Sephardic custom is not to eat meat, poultry or wine in the nine days.
- Chazon Ovadyah (Arba Taniyot pg 177) writes that there is what to rely on, as does the Torat Moadim 5:46. Birkei Yosef 551:6 says that in order to encourage proper for fulfillment of the meal itself we allow the leftovers to be eaten later. However, the Weekly Halacha by Rabbi Neustadt quotes Sh"t Igrot Moshe 4:21(4) who forbids (see there). Aruch Hashulchan 551:24 also forbids it, also see Piskei Teshuvot 551:34. Kaf Hachayim 551:144 says that for melave malka one is permitted to eat meat leftovers as long as he doesn't prepare extra for shabbat with the intention of having leftovers. Rabbi Eli Mansour quotes that Rav Chaim Palachi allows this while Chacham Benzion Abba Shaul says it's better not to. Rabbi Mansour also says that for the remainder of the week kids can eat it lechatchila and if adults eat it one cannot rebuke them. Piskei Teshuvot 551:34 says there are some poskim who permit eating meat for melave malka for someone who usually eats meat for melave malka.
- Mishna Brurah 551:64. Yechave Daat 1:41 adds that if they do, they are not required to make a hatarat nedarim.
- Chazon Ovadyah (Arba Taniyot pg 196-7). Rama 551:10 allows eating meat for a seudat mitzva, and the Taz there explains that only someone would normally be invited to this seuda, may partake in this meat seuda during this time. If the Brit Milah is scheduled to be performed before the nine days, even if it has already been postponed, Shaare Teshuva 551:10 says you cannot postpone any further to allow eating meat, and one who does this is considered someone who breaches fences.
- Chazon Ovadyah (Arba Taaniyot pg 196-8). Although the Rama 551:10 writes that one should minimize the amount of guests invited to this meal, Rav Moshe Feinstein and Rav Shlomo Zalman Auerbach (cited in Nitei Gavriel 18:7), rule that if the one who completes the masechet eats in a communal dining room (such as a camp or hotel), all those who eat with him may participate. Rav Moshe Feinstein quoted in Moadei Yeshurun page 132 says that preferably one shouldn't hold a siyum of a masechet after the sixth of av. Aruch Hashulchan 551:28 says that since nowadays we do not properly celebrate the torah, preferably no siyums should be held during the nine days.
- Chazon Ovadyah (Arba Taniyot pg 200), Halichot Shlomo (Moadim vol 2 pg 415), Yad Yitzchak 3:230, Yad Efrayim 551:31, Divrei Yatziv 2:238. Divrei Yatziv actually says that if the bar-mitzva boy says words of torah, even if it's not the actual day that he turns 13 they can nevertheless eat meat. Even though this is not mentioned by the Rama 551:10 as one of the meals you can eat meat for, Magen Avraham 225:4 says that a bar mitzva meal is a seudat mitzva, because just like siyum on a masechet is the celebration of the culmination of a mitzva, so too a bar mitzva is celebrating culminating the mitzva of chinuch.
- Magen Avraham 551:31 says you can give children meat even during the week of Tisha BeAv because we never had the minhag for kids to mourn. However, he adds that this is only true for a child below the age of chinuch, meaning a child who doesn't understand what we mourn. Mishna Brurah 551:70 and Shaar Hatziyun 551:76 say that although there is no requirement for the child to mourn for the beit hamikdash, the prohibition of feeding children prohibited items discussed in SA OC 343 extends to things that are only prohibited by custom and therefore one shouldn't feed meat to his kids unless for health reasons and the reason the Rama permitted Havdalah wine for children was for a mitzva. Iggerot Moshe 4:21:4 says even to feed the children meat on Friday afternoon before shabbat would not be allowed unless they usually eat their Friday night meal at that hour. Based on the Magen Avraham 551:31, Rabbi David Yosef in torat hamoadim Siman 5 page 190 says there is ample room to be lenient in this case. Aruch Hashulchan 551:26 as well says there is room to be lenient, especially in a case where it is a weak child who can gain a lot from eating the meat.
- Iggerot Moshe 4:112
- Yechave Daat 3:38. For more on whether a meat restaurant may remain open, see Rabbi Chaim Jachter: Restaurants Serving Meat During the Nine Days
- Shemirat Shabbat Kihilchita 42:61 since the Magen Avraham 250:1 quotes the Arizal that this is part of the mitzva of kavod shabbat to taste the food to make sure it tastes good.
- Iggerot Moshe 4:112
- Mishna Brurah 551:63, Kaf Hachayim 551:142, Orchot Chaim 31. Shaar Hatziyun 551:68 writes that even if a small piece of meat that will not be tasted fell into a dish, it may still be eaten.
- Sdei Chemed (Bein ha-Metzarim 1:4). See also the topic of mistakenly making a Bracha on food on a fast day at Fast_Days#Other_Halachas_of_fast_days.
- Shulchan Aruch 551:10. Yalkut Yosef page 574 adds that one may drink the entire cup.
- The Aruch HaShulchan 551:26 says some people have the Minhag to drink beer or another drink that qualifies as Chamar Medina. The Eshel Avraham 551 and the Chazon Ish (quoted in Imrei Yosher, pg. 4) says that those who say Havdalah every week over wine or grape juice should do the same during the Nine Days as well. Rav Moshe Harari in his Mikraei Kodesh 1:14 say it is preferable to use grape juice as this doesn't cause any joy, and Rav Moshe Karp in Hilchot UMinhagei Bein HaMetsarim chapter 4 note 74 says that in this situation an adult can drink it lechatchila. Rama 551:10 says to preferably give it to a child. Mishna Brurah 551:70 says that it should be a minor above the age of chinuch but doesn't fully comprehend the concept of mourning the destruction of the beit hamikdash. Rav Moshe Feinstein quoted in Moadei Yeshurun page 154 says the adults should drink the Havdalah wine. Darkei Moshe 551:9 says in the name of the Maharil that this can be done lechatchila. See piskei teshuvot 551:35 and Hilchot UMinhagei Ben HaMetsarim chapter 4 note 74 for more poskim who say this.
- Rama 551:10 with Mishna Brurah 551:69, Kaf Hachayim 551:152.
- Shulchan Aruch 551:3 based on gemara in taanit 26b.
- Rama 551:3.
- Shulchan Aruch and Rama 551:3, Yechave Daat 1:39
- Shulchan Aruch and Rama 551:3 and Mishna Brurah 551:34. Rabbi Aryeh Lebowitz at about 9:45 also says allowing a non-jewish housekeeper to do your laundry is prohibited even though this doesn't really distract you from mourning.
- Piskei Teshuvot 551:20. Nitei Gavriel 21:5:footnote 8 permits fixing or cutting a wig until the nine days.
- Tzitz Eliezer 13:61
- Mishna Brurah 551:43
- Rav Ovadia Yosef on halachayomit.co.il
- Iggerot Moshe 3:80, Yabea Omer OC 3:31
- Mishnah Brurah 551:20 based on the Taz 551:13, Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 122:5. Magen Avraham 551:13 permits cutting nails even during the week of.
- Mishna Brurah 551:20
- Eliya Rabbah 551, Yad Efraim 551, Kaf Hachaim 551:48, Piskei Teshuvot 551:19
- Kaf Hachaim 551:49
- Mishna Brurah 551:20
- Mishna Brurah 551:12, Kaf Hachayim 551:25 . Aruch Hashulchan 551:7 says anything for the public is considered for a mitzva and is permissible.
- Piskei Teshuvot 551:8, even though construction for joy is not done as per Shulchan Aruch 551:2, based on a gemara yevamot 43a and tosafot "milisa."
- Chazon Ovadia Taaniyot page 329.
- Mishna Brurah 551:13
- Shulchan Aruch 551:18, Shulchan Shlomo 18, Chayei Adom 133:8. Mishna Brurah 551:103, Bear Heitev 551:41, Taz, Levush, Eshel Avraham Butchatch 551:18, Chayei Adam 133:8 and Aruch Hashulchan 551:39 add that this includes hitting with a strap. Kaf Hachayim 551:232 says that one should refrain even from the slightest hit.
- Kitzur S”A 122:2, Kaf Hachayim 551:230, Orchos Rabbeinu 2: page 129:14
- Shulchan Aruch 551:1, Taanit 29b. Mishna Brurah 551:2 based on the Magen Avraham 551:2 says that this applies throughout the month of av until rosh chodesh elul, but at the minimum until Tisha BeAv. This is the ruling of the Chayei Adam 133:9, Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 122:7. Ben Ish Chai Devarim Halacha 1 says one should preferably wait until the fifteenth of av but really one has to wait until the tenth.
- Tur 551 and S”A 551:16 as well as the Chayei Adam 133:8 raise this minhag, but Birkei Yosef 551:7, Shaare Teshuva on S”A 551:16, Kaf Hachayim 551:191 and Mishna Brurah 90 say that this should not be done by a talmid chacham because he will not be able to focus on learning.
- Rabbi Eli Mansour
- Chazon Ovadia Arba Ta'aniyot page 128-129
- Piskei Teshuvot 551:1, 46. Also see Rabbi Eli Mansour on dailyhalacha.com.
- Halichot Shlomo 14:24
- Piskei Teshuvot 551:1, Dirshu Mishna Brura 551:note 128 in the name of Rav Shmuel Vosner, Rav Moshe Feinstein quoted in Moadei Yeshurun page 130:footnote 44, Emes Liyaakov 551:footnote 515, Nitei Gavriel 23:8. Rav Bentzion Mussafi permits until Rosh Chodesh to get surgery. see also Chazon Ovadia Arba Ta'aniyot page 128 footnote 2
- Tosafot Megillah 31b s.v. Rosh Chodesh Av, Shulchan Aruch 428:8, Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 122:6
- see https://www.ou.org/holidays/the-three-weeks/shabbat_chazon/