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Twelve Months: Difference between revisions
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# A rabbi who is within 12 months after shloshim can be a mesader kiddushin. There is a dispute if a rabbi who is within shloshim for another relative if he can be a mesader kiddushin.<ref>Shach 391:5 holds that it is forbidden during shloshim for all relatives and Bach holds it is only forbidden during shloshim for a mourner for a parent but for another relative it is permitted within shloshim. Chazon Ovadia v. 2 p. 345 was only lenient after shloshim. Badei Hashulchan 391:58 quotes the dispute between the bach and shach and doesn't resolve it.</ref> The mesader kiddushin needs to leave before they start the music.<ref>Aruch Hashulchan 391:12, Chazon Ovadia (Aveilut v. 2 p. 348)</ref> | # A rabbi who is within 12 months after shloshim can be a mesader kiddushin. There is a dispute if a rabbi who is within shloshim for another relative if he can be a mesader kiddushin.<ref>Shach 391:5 holds that it is forbidden during shloshim for all relatives and Bach holds it is only forbidden during shloshim for a mourner for a parent but for another relative it is permitted within shloshim. Chazon Ovadia v. 2 p. 345 was only lenient after shloshim. Badei Hashulchan 391:58 quotes the dispute between the bach and shach and doesn't resolve it.</ref> The mesader kiddushin needs to leave before they start the music.<ref>Aruch Hashulchan 391:12, Chazon Ovadia (Aveilut v. 2 p. 348)</ref> | ||
# It is permitted for someone within 12 months for a parent to participate in a Shabbat Chatan for a relative if his participation will enhance the happiness of the couple.<ref>Chazon Ovadia (Aveilut v. 2 p. 338)</ref> | # It is permitted for someone within 12 months for a parent to participate in a Shabbat Chatan for a relative if his participation will enhance the happiness of the couple.<ref>Chazon Ovadia (Aveilut v. 2 p. 338)</ref> | ||
# If a wife is in 12 months for a parent and the husband wants to go to a wedding according to some opinions he is allowed to ask his wife to go and she may go. However, many hold that they shouldn't rely on this to have her go to the wedding unless it will lead to Shalom Bayit issues and even then it is better to go and not eat there.<ref>Chazon Ovadia v. 2 p. 367 quotes the Tzitz Eliezer who is lenient and Rav Moshe Feinstein who is lenient only if it will lead to shalom bayit issues. The reason for the leniency is that the 12 month aveilut is based on Kibbud Av to a parent and the respect a wife should give her husband exempts her from Kibbud Av. Rav Ovadia concludes like Rav Moshe and adds that it is proper even in such a case not to eat the food at the wedding.</ref> | |||
==Cutting Hair and Shaving== | ==Cutting Hair and Shaving== | ||
# It is forbidden for a mourner for a parent to cut his hair until after shloshim his peers tell him to that he needs to cut his hair. Yom Tov doesn't cancel this time frame of cutting hair before his peers tell him that he needs to cut his hair.<ref>Shulchan Aruch YD 399:4, Shulchan Aruch OC 548:9 </ref> | # It is forbidden for a mourner for a parent to cut his hair until after shloshim his peers tell him to that he needs to cut his hair. Yom Tov doesn't cancel this time frame of cutting hair before his peers tell him that he needs to cut his hair.<ref>Shulchan Aruch YD 399:4, Shulchan Aruch OC 548:9 </ref> | ||
