Aufruf

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Background

The Yiddish translation of aufruf is “he is called up,” which is the central point of the aufruf as the chasan to be is called to the Torah for an Aliya.

Aliya

  1. On the Shabbos[1] before his wedding, a chasan has an obligation to receive an Aliyah.[2] The minhag nowadays is for the chasan to get Maftir.[3]
  2. There is a minhag to sing for the chosson after he gets his Aliyah.[4]
  3. Some people throw candies during the singing. [5]
  4. If, for some reason, the aufruf was made two weeks before the wedding, that Shabbos counts as his aufruf and he is obligated to get an Aliyah on that Shabbos.[6]

"Roasting"

  1. It is prohibited to “roast,” or make fun of/tell embarrassing stories about the chosson at the aufruf (or at any point for that matter).[7]

Shabbos Kallah

  1. There is a minhag for the kallah to have friends over for the Shabbos before the wedding to rejoice with her in her simcha.[8]

Links

Related Pages

Sources

  1. There are many sources that there is a special simcha on the Shabbos before a person gets married. The Rashba in Mishmeres Habayis 7:2 says that there was a practice to have a special simcha on the Shabbos a week prior to the week before one’s wedding. Nitey Gavriel (Hilchos Nisuin) quotes the Chidushey Harim who says that the entire week before the wedding is encapsulated in the Shabbos preceding the wedding. Therefore, the simcha of the following week is encapsulated in the Shabbos before.
  2. Livush OC 282:7, Magen Avraham OC 282:18.
    Medrash Talpiyos (Anaf Chasan Vikallah) says that the reason that he gets an Aliyah on the Shabbos before his wedding is because chasan domeh limelech – a chasan is compared to a king and a king must have two sifrey torah on him, so too a chasan gets one Aliyah before and one Aliyah after his wedding. Rav Shlomo Zalman in Halichos Shlomo (Moadim 2:251-252) offers an idea based on the gemara nidarim, which says that the reason that the beis hamikdash was destroyed is because we did not have proper kavod hatorah. So, the greatest way to give proper kavod hatorah is to learn right before an important time in our lives. Therefore, prior to his wedding the chasan gets an Aliyah and starts his simcha off with torah. Sifrey Chabad say that it is siman tov to raising children who will learn Torah and lift up the world. Sefer Hamatamim quoted in Nitey Gavriel (hilchos Nisuin) writes that the reason that a chasan gets one Aliyah before and after his wedding is in order that he appreciates the difference between the torah learned before and after his wedding. Chazal tell us that hasharuy bilo isha sharuy bilo Torah. The torah has new meaning when he is married.
    The chasan’s chiyuv to get an Aliyah comes before any other chiyuv to get an Aliyah, except for a bar mitzvah boy. However, if chasan is not a member of the shul, then the bar mitzva boy gets the Aliyah. If both a chasan and a bar mitzvah boy are in the shul, then the best thing to do in such a case is to have both of them get an Aliyah. If, for some reason, that is not possible, you should decide, via a lottery, who gets the Aliyah.
    • The Shaarey Ephraim 2:3 says that the father of the chasan also has a chiyuv to get an Aliyah but he doesn’t take precedence over any other chiyuv.
    • Imrey Yosher 2:198 says that you shouldn’t move a torah for a minyan made specifically for the chasan because it is a disgrace to the torah. Rav Aryeh Lebowitz, in a Ten Minute Halacha, said that we are lenient based on the Rama OC 135 who says that you can move a torah for an adam chashuv, and since the poskim assume that a chasan is compared to a king, so you can move the sefer torah for him. However, the Imrey Yosher says that the Rama specifically means a talmid chachom, not a chasan.
    • Eidus Yisroel (end of perek 1) says that starting from after the Aliyah on the Shabbos of aufruf, you shouldn’t go out by yourself because that is when the idea of chasan domeh limelech starts. Rav Shlomo Zalman (Shalmey Simcha 121) thinks that it begins on the motzey shabbos before wedding.
  3. If the chasan is the only kohein in the shul, then he should get kohein. Mekor Chaim OC 135 says that some have the minhag to give the chasan shlishi.
  4. Livush OC 282:7. Elyah Raba 139:8 says that we should cover the torah while the singing is going on because otherwise it will be a bizayon to the sefer torah.
    • The basis for such a minhag is from the Gemara Brachos 50a, which says that they used to throw food at the chasan and kallah at their wedding, and the Gemara Kesubos 15b which says that when a besula gets married, they would give candies to the kids. Rashi in both places says that they would do so because it is a siman bracha.
    • The minhag used to be to throw nuts. Nitey Gavriel (Nisuin 2:3 footnote 4) says that the reason is because nuts have a shell, it symbolizes tznius of kallah. Nitey Gavriel (Nisuin 2:3 footnote 4) gives a second reason, namely, that egoz represents cheit (because in gematria they both equal 18) and the chasan is forgiven for his avonos, so it is symbolic of throwing away his sins. Sheim Mishmuel (Ki Teitzei, page 134) writes that just like when a nut falls in the mud, the inside is still protected because of the shell, so too, when one gets married, it comes with responsibility and dealing with the world of gashmiyus (physicality) as a husband must begin to work so as to ensure he can support his family. Thus, we ensure to give the chasan chizuk by sending him a message that even though he now will enter the world of the physical as he goes to work, he needs to ensure that his inside remains pure and connected to Hashem’s will.
    • Mishna Brura 171 says that you shouldn’t throw food that can get gross and mushy because that will make a mess of the Sefer Torah, shul, and chasan. This may also violate bal tashchis—wasting food.
  5. Biyur Halacha 136. Mekor Chaim 236:14 says that the minhag of sfardim is that the chasan doesn’t get an Aliyah unless he is a yasom on his aufruf Shabbos.
  6. Aufruf Roast: On the Grill or in the Furnace by Rabbi Zvi Sobolofsky
  7. Nitey Gavriel (hilchos Nisuin perek 3 halacha 10 footnote 21) quoting Yosef Ometz 871 and Shulchan Haeizer 6:1:1.